Tim Timmons | Crawfordsville, IN

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May 7, 2021

3/7/2014 5:13:00 PM
Part four: The Vampire

Halloween is finally here and we're also at the end of the winding path through the deep, dark woods filled with sinister supervisors.
We've spent this month sitting around the proverbial campfire telling horrifying stories about those bosses whose very presence chills the blood and brings a curdling scream to our lips. We've survived The Zombie, The Witch and The Ghost. But that survival only brings us to the scariest and most dangerous of all, (it's time for that organ music once again) . . . The Vampire!
The Vampire literally sucks the life and the career right out of everyone around, staff and supervisors alike.
The Vampire, not surprisingly, avoids direct sunlight. They mostly work in the shadows and at night. In fact, many people can't even find where The Vampire stays most of the time. It's a well-kept secret, because as the legend goes, if you find the secret lair of The Vampire, you can overcome them.
Actually, Vampire Hunters know this to be true. The Vampire keeps their own talismans and such close by and know that discovery of their tricks can only spell doom for them. That's why when you get too close, The Vampire will go out of their way to sink their staple pullers into your vein and suck your career dry!
You would think that those over The Vampire would remain unaffected by such treachery, but everyone can become a victim. Perhaps it's because The Vampire has so many tricks up their cape? For example, one Vampire can slay unsuspecting dupes with so much work that the victim just gives up. Another Vampire can go a different route and completely ignore someone until they wither up and drift away.
Perhaps the worst of all though is The Vampire who is the constant nagger. They nag and nag and nag some more until all those within striking distance literally implode from frustration.
It's not a pretty sight.
Fortunately, there are a few tried and true ways to combat The Vampire (no, don't drive a stake through their heart - the real Vampire boss simply doesn't have a heart). Instead, hold a policy manual or company handbook high in the air and walk forcefully toward The Vampire. They will usually shriek and cringe in horror as their dirty work is exposed.
You can also yank back the curtains suddenly and let the cleansing light of day in. Again, Vampires can't stand the scrutiny!
But one final caution before we close our chapter of horrifying Halloween tales. Be careful that you don't get too close to The Vampire, The Ghost, The Zombie or The Witch. One quick strike and you could find yourself spinning down into an underworld of bad managers and doomed careers!
Sweet dreams!

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