Tim Timmons | Crawfordsville, IN

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June 13, 2021

2/8/2014 12:43:00 PM
Bubba and pals looking for Moose?

When the phone rings, you don't really think about it. You just reach out and pick it up. Maybe I ought to start thinking first.
"Timmons, want to know who's a great American?"
I sighed. The voice on the other end belonged to Bubba Castiron, an acquaintance who calls on occasion, usually with a harebrain idea.
"OK Bubba, I'll play your silly game. Who's a great American?"
"Ever heard tell of Bill Scott?"
I had to admit, I hadn't.
"Well, me and Gumball, Tater and Big Country was talking and, you know, we're pretty fed up with the Republicans and the Democrats and this whole nonsense about closing down the United States-"
"Bubba, they didn't close the U.S., it was just some parts of the government that shut down."
"Whatever. We're just tired of the whole kit and kaboodle and we started doing some research into the annuals of America."
"Never mind."
"Anyways, we came across this Mr. Bill Scott who was a big guy behind the Moose and we-"
"You mean the Bull Moose Party." I said.
"Whatever. Timmons, you going to keep on interrupting or what?"
While Bubba droned on, I had to admit I was a bit impressed. I've been a big fan of Teddy Roosevelt, the man who created the Bull Moose Party, well, actually it was officially the Progressive Party. It got the nickname when Roosevelt said he was as fit as a Bull Moose. Roosevelt, a Republican when he was president, left the party when it backed William Howard Taft over him.
I realized Bubba had stopped talking.
"Timmons? Are you still there? Dang it, I hate this S phone."
"Sorry, Bubba, got lost there for a second. What's an S phone?
"It drops so many calls I've decided to call it the piece of-"
"Whoa there, Bubba. I get it. So you guys are forming a new party?
"Aw hell, we're not all that formal. We just think that it was a great thing back then and we need more like it today. A lot more. Kids have lost their way. The government's done lost its way. We need to get back to some basics."
I had to admit, Bubba and his group at the Crawl-On-Inn bar had impressed me once again. The idea of resurrecting an old political party that was designed in many ways to right wrongs, especially in this turbulent time, was pretty good. One thing puzzled me though.
"Was this Bill Scott a cabinet member under Roosevelt?" I asked. "I don't believe I've ever heard of him."
"Roosevelt who," Bubba asked.
"Teddy Roosevelt," I sighed. "The guy who was president and the head of the political party you're emulating?" I swear, sometimes Bubba just wandered off.
"What political party? What president? I swear, Timmons, sometimes you just wander off."
"Bubba, you're the one who brought all this up about the Bull Moose Party and-"
"What in the sam hill is a Bull Moose Party? Aren't you listening at all, Timmons? I'm telling you about Bill Scott, the man who wrote a lot of the Rocky and Bullwinkle shows. You remember the old cartoon, right? It was simple and plain and about right and wrong and Dudley Do-Right and Boris and Natasha. Timmons, Bill Scott taught kids a lot better than what they're being taught by some of us today."
I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him.
At first.
Then I started thinking about Dudley and Nell and Fractured Fairy Tales and Sherman and Mr. Peabody . . . and how many murders kids see on TV today and surfing on the web and Miley Cyrus . . .
"Sorry, Bubba. My bad. What about Rocky and Bullwinkle?"

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