Tim Timmons | Crawfordsville, IN

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June 13, 2021

Nothing punny about this one

If you drive by the world-wide HQ of Sagamore News Media late at night, you might just see the lights still on. That's because our crack staff is here almost 24-7 toiling away, burning the midnight oil, to find new and better ways to serve our wonderful readers and advertisers.
For those who understand how the business works, they know advertising is the life-blood of newspapers. And advertising is all about getting results. Sure, it's easy to throw a picture of a business or a person in an ad with the address and phone number. But come on, who pays attention to those? So our staff is always looking to do better, to give our clients the best of the best; to rise to the challenge, so to speak.
Why just the other day I listened to a presentation from our in-house ad agency. This staff of thousands works hard to come up with the best ideas and concepts for our advertisers that money can buy. Think I'm kidding? Here're a few of the slogans / proposals they shared.
Although the Miller Beer folks aren't our clients (yet), our gang created a new slogan for them: Great minds drink a Lite.
We all know that the environment and recycling are huge issues in today's world, right? Well, I was more than a little impressed when our crew came up with a new advertising campaign to help protect this county's wonderful natural resources: Don't fight the land that feeds you.
Podiatrists, listen up. Want to increase your . . . pardon the pun, foot traffic? How about an ad promotion that begins with this: A foot and its bunions are soon parted!
How about this one? Imagine a picture of an accounting firm. Several folks at desks, working earnestly on various tax forms and these words: See why after people use Beth's Accounting Service they all say, "Nothing is certain but Beth and Facts(es) . . . OK, maybe that one needs a little more work.
Here's an ad for an out-of-work boxing trainer. Hire Mickey and live to fight another day. Not too original, but it gets the point across.
Then there was this one for a jewelry store: All that glitters is our gold.
For a fine clothing store: All kinds of leather stitched together.
A dog trainer: We CAN teach an old dog new tricks.
For a beauty shop: Beauty really is skin deep. Let us help you keep yours that way!
Here's another: Children should be seen and not heard. I asked what this was for and someone said as they got older they just thought it was appropriate.
Here's one for an orchard: An apple a day? Why stop there? (Obviously, designed for the greedy!)
A locksmith: Don't count your padlocks unless they latch.
There were more. But my brain was on pun overload and I told the group I had to beat feet. They all looked at each other with wide eyes. "Forget the line about the bunions, boys" one yelled. "Grab the dry erase marker and let's beat feet to our seat and turn up the heat . . ."
I left so they could meet.

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