|3/7/2014 4:19:00 PM|
Bubba gets or gives legal lesson?
I don't get the pleasure of getting over to Noblesville as often anymore. Call it the demands of the job, call it being busy, call it the price of things going too well . . . ultimately, I call it my loss. Most readers of my wanderings might remember that this is my hometown and it's a joy to own a business here. So when I do get back, I really enjoy it.
Most of it.
I had 12 messages to return a phone call to a Mr. Bubba Castiron. My first thought was to not do it. However, I just can't not return messages. I can't not answer a phone, a trait that stinks when it comes to telemarketers.
So it was that I found myself calling my good friend Bubba.
"It's your dime so start yakkin'."
And to think I expected a straight hello.
"Hi Bubba, this is Tim Timmons returning your call."
"Dang, Timmons!" Bubba hollered a bit too loud for my ear's comfort. "It's been forever. How ya' been?"
"Well, busy, Bubba. How have you been?"
"Out of state and out of jail."
Shocked on both counts.
"You go on vacation, Bubba?" I asked. Figured I'd leave the jail comment all alone.
"Nah," he said. "My great-aunt Eileen kicked the bucket down in Alabama and me and the boys all went down for the funeral."
Once again, I was pleasantly surprised. Bubba's never struck me as the sentimental type so I was pleased to hear that he went all the way to Alabama to pay his respects.
"That broad was loaded and we was hoping she remembered her favorite great nephew in her will."
So much for pleasant surprises.
"Almost didn't make it back though, Timmons."
"How's that, Bubba? What happened?"
"Well, we had the F-150 rolling and I guess we was rolling a little too fast 'cause the next thing you know it's cherries and berries."
"Cherries and berries, Timmons. Red and blue lights."
"I swear, Timmons, for a smart guy you sure are stupid sometimes. Anyways, we get pulled over and I guess I might've back talked too much and the next thing you know we're heading to the county pokey."
I was going to jump in, but Bubba was on a roll.
"Now the good news is that it was pretty early in the morning so after they did their paperwork they haul me over to the courthouse and I swear Timmons, all I want to do is pay the fine and get back on the road. But that there courtroom was pretty crowded and they kept calling one case after another and it kept going and going and finally there's just a couple of us left. So at least I know we're about done. And don't you know it but right then the bailiff declared court adjourned and told us to come back the next day. Well sir, I let loose a string of exactly what I was feeling and that ol' judge jumped off his bench and told me I was fined $20 for contempt of court! Then he just stared at me like he was daring me to do something else."
Got to admit, Bubba had me. "So what happened?"
"Not much, I just pulled out my wallet. The judge told me I didn't have to pay the fine now. I told him that I knew that. I was just seeing if I had enough cash for two more words."
With that Bubba howled and howled. He managed to choke out something about talking to me later as he hung up. I'm just glad he doesn't have my cell phone.
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